Father - Daughter - The word no.

About being a father.

When I hug her,
I hope I remember
to let her go.

Dad’s tell you things you don’t want to hear. They help you grow up by coaching at a distance while you make small mistakes. They stand by your side when those mistakes are too big to carry alone. They stand in front of you when they’re hoping you’ll avoid a wrong turn. More importantly, they are hoping you discover your unlimited potential.

In her new book, Overcoming Underearning, Barbara Stanny tells her story concerning financial mistakes. Her journey began when a divorce left her with the discovery of a lost fortune and an overwhelming million dollar IRS bill. Barbara is the daughter of Richard Bloch, the founder of H&R Block. Her exhusband had mismanaged her fortune with illegal scams and investments. Now she stood facing a million dollar tax bill and nothing to pay it with.When she went to her father for help and to ask for a loan, her father did something few of us dads would do. He said no.

How does a father who loves his daughter say no to her when she’s in a crisis? He had at one time told her that she would never have to worry about money because she had a trust fund. He had also said not to worry because a "man" would always take care of her. Now here she was appealing to the only trusted man left in her life and he was seemingly abandoning her.Why was this supposedly loving father reacting this way? Maybe it’s because he knew something about his daughter that she needed to discover for herself.

Without explaining the entire book to you, it is one of the best books I’ve ever read on finances, career changes, and vision. It’s not a "how-to" book as much as it is a "how it could be if you only believed in yourself" book. It’s more the psychology behind our beliefs concerning money.

Barbara explains that she ended up changing her life and taking care of that tax bill on her own. What she learned about herself and money was only secondary to her story, in my opinion. The real gem is hidden in the introduction. After her father refused to help her with the loan, Barbara was furious. However, she also writes, "I realize now that his refusal was the best thing he could’ve done for me."

In a round about way, her father’s cliche remark that "a man will take care of you" actually came true. Her dad stood back and realized that his daughter needed to dig deeper into her soul and find her own potential. By not helping her financially, he changed her life for the better. This best selling author of Prince Charming Isn’t Coming: How Women Get Smart About Money, Secrets of Six Figure Women, and Overcoming Underearning, now has more money than she ever thought possible. And to top it off, she knows what a loving father looks like. He’s the kind of man that learns to let go so daddy’s little girl can find her potential.

Remember guys; you are the only college class your children will attend that teaches them what a father and husband look like. When it comes to our daughters we love to say yes. However, don’t forget the word "no" can also have a positive impact.